Underlying my other, certainly valid reasons to quit smoking, is the desire to really beat something, to consistently make better decisions about the way I live my life. I've got a long way to go in other areas, but quitting smoking is a pass-fail test. As long as I don't smoke, I pass.




Other things areas where I could stand to improve:

over-eating, over-spending, over-drinking (alcohol)
apologizing less
keeping better (more complete) records
taking care of my health (i.e. I need a trip to the dentist's)
exercising more regularly (I tend to exercise intensely for a few weeks or months, then hit a plateau or obstacle, and stop)
having more all-around discipline
to mine own self being true (probably the product of having more all-around discipline.)

Cool site to check out regarding self-improvement projects such as those listed above:

http://www.43things.com

While at first glance, these goals might seem selfish or at least self-centered, they all point toward a better use of my life (time, money, etc.), which at the very least should make me a better example for others, since we are all examples for one another. I hope that self-improvement will eventually give flight to more-than-self improvement. What will I do when I'm not apologizing, over-eating, over-drinking, over-spending, and wasting time? Sometimes I indulge in these bad habits just because I don't know what else to do--or doing something else seems difficult or threatening somehow.

I'm finding myself at a crossroads, suddenly having to move from one apartment to another, while faced with three very busy weeks ahead at work. In this crossroads, in this calm before the storm, I find myself reflecting on life and how I can live it better.

So I've got to stay unencumbered by cigarettes and smoking. I've risen above it and I've got to stay there. As I told myself when I first got into running, this is training. This is training to become a better, stronger person, someone who is more alive. Someone who sucks the marrow out of life, as the saying goes.

I'm going to have to go through pain, I'm going to have to work and stretch, I'm going to have to keep pushing my way up that mountain--and remember that neither joy nor pain ever really goes away.

I wish you the best in your quit. It is a spiritually meaningful undertaking.